No matter what, other people have something in their lives that is there to show them that they have someone or something. They may have family problems, but they have their boyfriend or girlfriend to tell them that its going to be alright. If they have relationship problems they have family, friends, or relatives that'll support them to the end. Or if everyone around them fails they have a job or the skills that will move them away from all the misery so that they can start something new.
I have nothing. I have nothing. I have nothing. My family showed its true colors the other day. My father showed me that he is an asshole. Not only is he a woman-beater but a person who gave up on me a long time ago. The only person I have to thank is Jehovah, who convinced my mother that I was actually an asset to her. My brother believes he knows everything and is turning into a douchbag every second of the day. The thing that really sets me off is that he picks up some girl that is just slowly taken away my brother from me. He talks to me about his relationship problems and its obvious that he's not ready for a serious relationship or marriage. My sister is like fruitloops in the pocket of a 4 year old. She's such a sweetheart. I just wish that she wasn't raised by people who are so unstable and untrustworthy. I can see the propaganda that my father is just drilling into her and the "douchebagness" that my brother is rubbing off on her. I can already see their actions in her being directed toward me and its only a matter of time before a 10 year old tells me I'm useless. Most of all I see the worst of my mother in her. My mother gives up way too easily. When everyone and everything is within her grasp she throws it all away. People show so much concern for her and ask about her all the time. I wish she would realize how much people want to be her friend and show that they care. However she is ready to drop them like hot cakes because she thinks that they are plotting against her. Even when opportunities comes across, she shows so much "chicken-shit" that I find myself giving up on her. I have nothing
I have nothing. I have nothing. I have nothing. My life is pointless. I'm going to college to be an engineer. I've been at it for almost 5 years now. All I have to show for it is a shitty Associates Degree. That doesn't matter in this economy, and I know that. I'm continuing to go for my bachelors. But there's always something or someone who wants to disrupt the little flow I have going. The other day my father ask for his check back for my tuition and told me to go find a job. Just like that. He asked for his check back just like that. That told me that it was in his heart from the beginning that he had no hope for me and has given up on me. Meanwhile he's trying to turn my brother against me by telling him that I'm not serious about school. Deep down I know that my brother is on his side. I have nothing.
I have nothing. I have nothing. I have nothing. Why does everyone have someone to love romantically, emotionally, physically, and even spiritually? I'm tired of meeting a girl who I would like to get to know more, only find out that she's has a boyfriend. This always happens to me. I just want a girl for myself who I can run too and tell her everything. She in turn can run to me and tell me anything. I want someone just to hold and cuddle with. I just want someone to kiss soft and hard. I just want someone to take somewhere beautiful and just share the moment like the city lights or a mountain scenery. I just want someone that I can look at when she's not looking and admire her beauty and just say in my mind, "that girl is mine and in her mind she belongs to me." I just want someone that I know in the future that I can buy a ring and ask her to marry me and she would say yes even before I ask the question. I just want someone to grow old with. But I have nothing.
